Tag Archives: Bullshit

Know Your Enemies, No. 2: Consultants Again

We established conclusively in last month’s monograph that IT consultants are, on the whole, self-serving parasitic scum who have precisely two areas of high and mutually synergistic capability: (a)    Bamboozlement at the Vice President level and above. (b)   Shamelessly sky … Continue reading

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Know Your Enemies, No. 2: Consultants, Volume I

Every large organisation is a complete shambles. Private companies, local and national government, charities, armed forces, British, Commonwealth and Foreign, all are hysterical bedlams of ego, bureaucracy, in-fighting, nonsense, confusion, pointlessness and stupidity. This is not always obvious from the … Continue reading

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Know Your Enemies, No. 1: The Human Resources Department

There are a few people in your life that you’re always pleased to see. A couple of mates who invariably lift the proceedings when they walk into the pub. Maybe your mum or your granddad, perhaps your life partner or … Continue reading

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In Praise of Stasis(IV): If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try Again. Then Give Up. No Use Being A Damn Fool About It.(*)

I feel the need to précis the last three semi-connected diatribes before embarking on the fourth and closing chapter of the trilogy. You, dear reader, due to a series of horrendous administrative cock-ups, have been headhunted into MegaGroup Financial Incorporated … Continue reading

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In Praise of Stasis(III): If You Don’t Need It, Don’t Bloody Buy It

As you may have gathered from earlier communiqués (see both here and here), almost nothing within a gigantic IT Transformation Programme makes any kind of sense whatsoever. The original vision is a feverish hallucination fed by half-chewed received wisdom and … Continue reading

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Pictures vs. Words

They say a picture paints a thousand words. Well. Nothing’s ever absolute(*). It kind of hinges on who’s writing and who’s painting the picture. Take this abstract expressionist meisterwork:                     It’s … Continue reading

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Bad Language (II)

But does any of this matter ? Should a concern be registered that, going forward, garbled, impenetrable, deliberately badly constructed English presents myself and yourself with significant project challenge throughout the Enterprise Space, intercommunication-wise ? Well, yes, it does. A … Continue reading

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